Showing posts with label Highlands County FL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Highlands County FL. Show all posts
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
What Florida Redneck Knows About Highlands County FL
THINGS THE FLORIDA REDNECK KNOWS ABOUT HIGHLANDS COUNTY FL:
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Polk county.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in polk county , plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; If it crawls, it bites.
5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
6. It is not a Shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
8. People actually grow and eat okra. 
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a
little tea with our sugar!
12. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.
Florida Redneck and a Highlands County Blessing
"A Highlands County FL. Blessing "
Note: If you are not a resident of Highlands County or never have lived in the hot, humid south, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry,
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass,
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please,
Carpenter bees, and ticks, and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in Florida, Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray!
Florida Redneck Grew Up In Highlands County FL
Note: If you are not a resident of Highlands County or never have lived in the hot, humid south, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry,
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass,
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please,
Carpenter bees, and ticks, and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in Florida, Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray!
Florida Redneck Grew Up In Highlands County FL
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