Showing posts with label Florida USA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Florida USA. Show all posts
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Florida Redneck and a Highlands County Blessing
"A Highlands County FL. Blessing "
Note: If you are not a resident of Highlands County or never have lived in the hot, humid south, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry,
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass,
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please,
Carpenter bees, and ticks, and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in Florida, Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray!
Florida Redneck Grew Up In Highlands County FL
Note: If you are not a resident of Highlands County or never have lived in the hot, humid south, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry,
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass,
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please,
Carpenter bees, and ticks, and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in Florida, Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray!
Florida Redneck Grew Up In Highlands County FL
Florida Redneck And The Balance Of GOD In Highlands County
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, GOD was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God.
Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a modest land mass and said, "What's that one?"
Ah," said God. "That's Florida USA -- the most glorious place on earth! There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests. The people from Florida are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Just wait until you see the nuts I put in Highlands County"
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God.
Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a modest land mass and said, "What's that one?"
Ah," said God. "That's Florida USA -- the most glorious place on earth! There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests. The people from Florida are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Just wait until you see the nuts I put in Highlands County"
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